About This Year

There’s so many thing I wanted to share in this blog.

This year been like a rollercoaster to me.

You know, like the first time you try rollercoaster. You wonder how it’s gonna feel. How it’s gonna make you feel. It is gonna be fun? Or scary? Make you sick? Or Make you want to do it again.

When we first started this year, we didn’t know what would happen for the next 365 days. You didn’t know how it’s gonna feel. How it’s gonna make you feel. Is it gonna be an exciting year? Is it gonna be a bad year that you can’t wait for it to be over? Who you gonna meet along the way? Who you gonna lose along the way.

This year, has its own charm. I can’t say this year is bad just because there’s a bad moment happen. In fact this year has so many new things happen. I through a lot of new things this year. I met a bunch of inspiring people this year. I went to the place I really wanted for so long.

But if I may say, the first two months of this year is my favorite. In the first two months, I through this year with someone that somehow has changed me. I spent such a fun time and really exciting time. Sometimes I wish I can turn back to that time but well as you know no matter how much we really wanted that, it won’t happen. Ever.

So, now it’s only a memory. A beautiful one. Sometimes it still makes me sad and feel hurt to remember that the person who I really wanted the most has no longer have a part in my life. He still alive, but in my story, he’s just a good memories.

Losing him a friend was the hardest part, and to be honest, till today I still learn to accept that as a fact. I know I love him more than a friend. I know i wanted him to be more than just a friend and it kills me everytime I see him with his girlfriend but I think what really hurt me most is the fact that I also lost my friend. My very best friend. I really liked him. He’s really a good friend. A good listener. I spent so much time with him and with him I can be myself. That’s something that didn’t always happen.

I think, what hurt me most is I can’t have someone I can talk to about everything anymore. I can’t see him when I wanted to. I can’t share anything to him anymore. All the laughs. All the conversations. All the plans just a memories now. I think what I really jealous the most from her is not just she gets his love. She also can have him as a lover and a friend. I mean, just thinking about that make me really sad.

It’s funny to think that I through a good and bad time all by one person. He made this year feel so amazing but he also made this year felt like a hell when he stop being a friend to me. Still sucks to remember that.

This year, really a rollercoaster for me. It’s make me exciting and also make me scary. It’s give me joy but also make me sick. It’s make me happy but it also makes me can’t wait to this year to be over.

Well, there’s still 3 months left. Let’s see what gonna happen in 3 months.